Hey, this journal is partially friendslocked- please leave me a comment to read the rest of the entries, yo.

-Helen<3

Tonight for dinner, I was feeling really lazy- grace and Sarah were ordering a curry, and I was suuuuper tempted to go in with them and get somethin' buuut I had already spent all my grocery money for the week AND I'd had an unexpected cost come up in the form of having to chip in for the tv license(Which, annoyingly, I got out of my account yesterday, but Nat was already at work when I got back from class/town so now it's in my purse all "lolol, spend me, Helen" but I CANNOT.)

soooo I was sorely tempted, but I could not. I was feeling really lazy, and I'd had lunch late, and Marissa has her drama group over and they all cooked dinner together, so I was pretty much thinking I wouldn't bother, buuuuut I decided that since I haven't cooked proper food in ages and I've been feeling a little unwell the last few days, I decided my tummy was telling me to make it real food.

So, from the school of "Helen looks in her cupboard, cooks whatever is available" I present you this "meal plan"

I had a chicken breast, I had MAH BRAIN, I had my store cupboard.


I was gonna do rice, but I decided I didn't wanna bother to align finishing times, so I made cous cous instead, which is suuuuper easy.

So,  after trimming all the gross bits off it, I cut up my chicken into bite sized pieces, because this way I don't worry about getting food poisoning by under cooking it (see, sugarcane_moon and djcati that is why I'm ok using slightly-frozen chicken, it always cooks through because I pretty much ALWAYS cut it really small, because that way it cooks so much faster.)

The best thing I have learnt for chicken is the secret of the flour rub. I basically put flour in a dish, and then go to town with whatever herbs I'm feeling that day. My current favourite spice/herb (last year it was thyme and garlic salt, lol) is Chinese 5 spice. Seriously, omg, I am going wild over it- I had it in my porridge the other day with brown sugar- nothing tastes better, omg. I put it in a tuna pasta bake the other week- DELCIOUS. My other new thing is sage, which is so good with butter to go on tortellinis etc, but that's for elsewhere.

so, the herbs I used were the chinese 5 spice, sage, garlic salt and mild chili powder- I actually think my mild chili powder is total balls, because I accidentally dropped like half the bottle in, and was like "well... I like spicy food" and, seriously- couldn't even taste it. I might have put other stuff in? Maybe some cumin... not much, if I did. I put LOTS of all these herbs in, because the flour really takes down the flavour intensity, so seriously, dump 'em in.

Then you just chuck the cut up chicken in there and you seperate the pieces out with your hand, turning them round etc so that they're all covered all over.

Then I fried them in olive oil (I probably would have used sunflower oil, but at our last party SOMEONE STOLE MY SUNFLOWER OIL? WHAT? They also took sarah's soy sauce and 2 salad dressings belonging to Bliss- we were very confused. Anyway- I haven't gotten around to replacing it.) I let them cook, moving them around a little bit, until the white cookedness was up around the edges of the top, and then turned them, to get the other side done.

Just before I put the chicken in, I poured the water over my cous cous, so it was soaking all the time I was cooking the chicken- it tastes better if you're not impatient and eat it too soon, and I am always impatient, so it's a good idea to make it when you're not thinking about it.

Once both sides of the chicken were browned, I turned the heat down a little and just sort of let it cook for a little while longer, to make sure it was cooked through. If you were cooking a whole breast, after browning it you should put it in a preheated oven for a while. I always cut it in half to see if it's cooked through. same with the little pieces- since i inevitably wish I'd cut it smaller, I break the pieces up a little once they're cooked, thus also checking they're all cooked through.

Then I decided I should really have a vegetable, so I got some sugarsnap peas out of the fridge (I think is the U.S these are snow peas?) I was surprised to see these in tesco, because I didn't think it was the right season? I wasn't complaining- they are my favourite, and I ate a few raw- I suggest for the authentic Helen cooking experience, you do likewise.

I trimmed the peas, (they say on the bag that they're already trimmed, but they are not- they cut the ends off, but they don't do it right, so the stringy bit on the side is still on it- LAME.) because I was lame,and hoping for a 1 utensil meal, I cut the peas up into bite size pieces and dropped them in a pan- I poured some water that I (and hopefully you) had already boiled in the kettle, just enough to cover, and put them on the stove while I put some butter on the cous cous and put it in the microwave to warm it back up- just like 30 seconds. Then I drained my peas (You really want to BARELY cook them, so they are still crunchy, but aren't cold/raw- I love them raw, but for this meal, cooked is where it's at) added some salt to the cous cous, put the peas and chicken on top of the cous cous and served with a large dollop of hummus, because OH MAN, hummus with chicken is so delicious.



so, in short- seasoned chicken with sugarsnap peas and cous cous and hummus. eat it, it tastes good. I am an excellent cook.

Heyyyyyyyyy! I haven't posted in ages (zomg, remiss) But.... if I am quite honest, I don't feel like doing so now. However, you can take from the fact that I haven't been updating much that my worries about the house were ill founded! I'm actually having quite a nice time in the ol' house, and my housemates are all lovely (really, i haven't met many people in my life who were not nice) best of all, this year I am actually doing some of my work, and talking in class, and I'm just having... a really good time, which is a refreshing change. Like I mean, today I went out for coffee after class with my new friend Kate, and it was funnn and there were no awkward silences, and... it just feels like I'm being a better person now, and that I'm finally getting over all the stupidity of my self-hating teenage years.


SO YEAH, lame update is lame. I just kept thinking that seeing as my last entry in regards to uni was one of "oh nooooes" I should update with some kind of "OH YEAH"

handwriting meme!


Tagged by sugarcane_moon

1. Write your username.
2. Write your 2 favourite bands/groups of the moment.
3. Write something you love, aka lemme see your heart.
4. Write the name of your favourite person of all time.
5. Write the name of your recent favoured person.
6. Tag 6 people to do this meme.

( Read more... )


Holy crap, I don't usually use that many exclamation! marks!

Tell me things about yourself, friendslist. If you dare face my scrutiny.

(Via: alexandraerin who has gone totally soft in her old age guys, seriously.)

"Lee, Jean, Joy, Jane" is a wonderful chain of middle names, and if anyone posts next I expect it will be a C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER.

Basically, you fill in the answers, I say "Hmm, interesting"

1. Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
5. Favorite Song or Album:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
9. Do we know each other outside of LJ?
10. What's your philosophy on life?
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
13. What is your favorite memory of us?
14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarky) - what are they?
17. Can we get together and make a cake?
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
19. What is your big weakness?
20. Do you think I'm a good person?
21. What was your best/favorite subject at school?
22. Describe your accent:
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
24. What do you wear to sleep?
25. Trousers or skirts?
26. Cigarettes or alcohol?
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?

I'm leaving for canterbury again in the morning- getting up in... about 5 hours, crap. I am totally nervous- I still haven't seen the house, I have no idea how I'm going to pay my rent in January if I don't get a job, I have no idea if ANYWHERE is going to be hiring and just... I am terrified my housemates won't like me, seeing as I still don't know them really- I'm just the extra person being slotted in. University really cemented in my brain that I have no idea how people go about making friends. So... I guess that's my aim for this year- I'm going to try and make at least one "buddy" in each of my classes- someone I can sit next to in lectures, or invite back to the house to study with. I am sick of being so insular, it's incredibly lonely, and I feel like the less interaction I have with people the less my mind realises I actually do need it, and I don't think it's good for me, mentally or physically. I call myself shy, but I know from experience that I thrive in social situations-  I get loud, and I joke, and I can make a crowd buzz, but it takes so much for me to get to that point. I live so much on the internet because here as soon as I'm done with an interaction I can just stand up and walk away. I'm an introvert, so although I like people, I can only stand being around them for so long before I get exhausted and have to go and have a few moments by myself, or with just a couple of people with whom I'm most intimate. If i hadn't have had Erin last year, I think I would have gone crazy with loneliness- but I am aware that I worked to make myself connect with her, because obviously my mind was aware I needed it.

So, basically, I just... I'm sick of being lazy. You work any muscle and it gets stronger, so I'm going to try and force myself to be more social, in the hopes that I'll be able to maintain that socialness for longer and that, in time, it takes less to bring myself up to that point where I am happy and social-butterflying to begin with.

That being said, I'll miss you internet! Hopefully I'll have the web set up before tomorrow evening, but just in case any problems turn up- take care, all of you! <3333

Sometimes I just lack the emotional maturity necessary to help people, even when I want to- I just have zero idea of what to say. I don't mean to be a bad friend, I just am genuinely afraid that I would say something to make a situation worse, rather than better.

1. Reply to this post and I will pick six of your icons.
2. Make a post including this info and talk about the icons I chose.
3. Other people can then comment to you and make their own posts.
4. This will create a never-ending circle of icon glee!

(nb: it will totally take me ages to respond to requests, because I am flakey :P)

jira_rd gave me these 6


I have a tendency to overshare, and Statements has a tendency to do so. Something about the imagery of a happy whimsical little kite with the really understated "it was pretty gross" just cracks me up every time I see this icon. It's a statement of fact, it closes the book. "It was pretty gross. Let's move on now." I like to imagine what is happening off scene. Are we looking at a memory, are there people on the ground talking? I love this icon, and I have 0 idea where i got it.


trufax, like half of the reason I uploaded this icon was just to use the expression "calcucado" in the icon notes.


Everyone always makes such a big thing of Dean liking pie in fandom, he only mentions it a few times, and it bugs me, so I like to be hypocritical and have a pie icon. Also it is a fucking conveyor belt of pies on a rainbow soaring about happy Jensen Ackles. interesting fact: I have watched this icon many times for an extended period of time, trying to convince myself that no, it really is not the same pies coming out from behind the text as go behind it- LOOK, LOOK, DO YOU SEE? THE PIES CHANGE. THERE IS NO KEY LIME UP THERE. Yet somehow there is an illusion that it is a conveyor, it is not.



Haha, I made this in like... February? I think? When statements was OBSESSED with Repo!-  I admit that I was the major catalyst for everyone getting into it. You could not go more than a half dozen statements without someone quoting the movie, most often the one song Zydrate anatomy. I loved the movie, christ, I loved it so hard, I was listening to the soundtrack obsessively, but eventually it started to really piss me off, and so I made this icon to express my need to HAVE THE MADNESS STOP. Interesting fact- I did not buttonise the background, but rather hand-painted it, not even using opacities, just picking colours. I am that commited. I still love the movie, but I AM GLAD WE NO LONGER QUOTE IT SO MUCH. By the end we didn't even have to type the whole lyrics, just the letters were sufficient- ZCIALGV ALGV? ALGV! Also, trufax- I cosplayed as Amber Sweet, but only in my bedroom. There are photographs.



Haha, this one is 2 fold-  I have a "THIS IS YOUR FLAG, it stands for liberty FIGHT FOR IT" England icon, because being British I am in the minority in most comms/statements and, though I am not that patriotic I feel the need to fly my flag. However, I also love the U.S and all the lovely people it has brought out, so I on occasion have to fap over it- This icon works so well, because it's like "RAAAAAAR I'M A FIRIN' MAH USA" but it's like... is he enjoying it? It looks like he can't stop, he's hating it. IT'S UNCONTROLLABLE. it also works really well to show the aggresive "GO U.S" attitude a lot of people have, so I just love it. I use it when I am being pro or anti america, and when I feel someone else is being a bit to "U.S.A. U.S.A OOORAAAAH"



I have a tendency to talk... a lot. Not just in one comment, but often in several. I also kind of... .often reply to myself, when I realise there is YET MORE I want to say, and I am sure it bugs people, but I am very very quiet in real life, so online is the only place I can be so "HEY HEY HEY" I just feel this icon basically perfectly sums up my online persona. I AM HAPPY TO SEE YOU, LIKE A PUPPY, AND I WANT TO BOUNCE ALL OVER YOU AND TELL YOU EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER LEARNT EVER.

I made some icons from the  video stills posted on Panic's Myspace from the video for New Perspective- I am super lazy so I only bothered to work with a couple of bases, despite making more- if I get bored I might do something with the others, but I was basically just going wiiiild figuring out what I could do, because I haven't made icons properly before. YES THIS IS ME POPPING MY ICON VIRGINITY WITH YOU. So, yeah, they are mostly pretty boring, mostly textless, just playing with gradients. They are also all, bar 2 PURE SPENCER- but seeing as there are only really 2 different images you can't really gorge yourself with them, sorry :P


Preview

1	2	3

YOU HAVE TO SCROLL DOWN A LOT, BECAUSE LJ IS DUMB AND SO AM I 


( 21 below the cut ) Woo, enjoy- tell me if (because I am curious) + credit (because it is nice) if you use any, as is standard :P

dame_wilbur , YOUR FLIST ISN'T DEAD- IT'S MERELY SLEEPING.

MEME, because I am cool. no idea who I stole this from. DO IT, WHY NOT.


( I see everyone else is putting it behind a cut- I consider it to be spoiling you, but *sigh* fine. )

I heard this today and it amused me but it's like twice as long as a tweet, and it's not declarative, so even though it makes a crappy journal entry I'm putting it here.


"have you ever wanted a bowl of cereal, but at the same time you wanted pancakes and you're afraid that you might want pancakes more than cereal but you're too afraid that pancakes might not want you and people will think you're weird for wanting pancakes?"


BREAKFAST IS NOT THE TOPIC HERE. THIS MUST BE REALISED.

So, I was bored and I wanted to tidy my bag, so I am starting a meme in which you must take a picture of the contents of your bag/wallet/pockets to show what you carry around with you, because I am INTERESTED.

Here is mine:

1. Re-usable shopping bag from Primark- it is seriously the cutest shopping bag I have seen. It obviously folds down much smaller.
2. My wallet, it is old and kind of fug, I've had it since i was like 12 but it still works so I'm too cheap to replace it
3. iPod- It's a black one, but it's in a little silicone case to avoid OH NOES- scratches. I only use the little headphones if I think I will be carrying it more than listening to it, I have a pair of better headphones if I'm expecting serious listenin'
4. Glasses case, empty of glasses. I often carry 2 glasses cases, generally neither of them actually have glasses in them. NOTHING IS MORE ANNOYING THAT WISHING TO SEE SOMETHING, being happy you remembered your glasses, then realising it is an empty case.
5. felt-tip pens! A lady never knows when she might have to do some colouring.
6. super adorable heart-shaped calculator, because I am crap at maths and sometimes numbers need to have things done to them. This was 99p in Sainsburys, I was completely unable to say no. They had star shaped ones and loads of different coloured round ones and I want like ten calculators now.
7. My keys! Note H-shaped keyring, nerdy Christian keyring, lanyard made by me (if anyone mentions it I give it to them, so this is like the 3rd I've had.) Also note that I have 3 keyrings and only 2 keys. Yes.
8. 2 twisty pencils, one pen- I neeeeed to have many writing implements with me at all times or I worry.
9. 2 kinds of lipbalm (one is from Avon, the other is an aloe vera Vaseline) because I often forget I'm already carrying lipbalm and throw one in as I leave the house. I totally forgot to label it but as a BONUS ITEM: You can see also 2 rings, because rings INFURIATE ME and I can never wear them a whole day before having to take them off. I think there is also an earring there too.
10. TRASH. The blue-thing is a leaflet from when I went to Canterbury Cathedral. That was in February. Also there's some stuff about blood donating, and a clutch of tissues (again, I throw some in whenever I leave the house if I have the mildest sniffle, then never use them) gum wrappers.
11. Moleskine notebook, unruled, with a pen attached (see the pen theme?) I jot down everything in here, expenses, story ideas/poetry ideas/doodles whatever is needed.
12. Moleskine day planner. I LIKE MOLESKINES, OK? it's like a week to a tiny page, hence why I also need the notebook.
13. Mobile phone (cell phone :P) with adorable piggy bell and ducky bell phone charms. It is old but it has mp3 ringtones and you can call people on it so it is good enough.
14. LADY THINGS. I carry enough for like 3 women, srsly.
15. A sock. No, seriously, look- I keep my sunglasses in it. It's a sock where I've lost the partner and it has a hole in the heel, so I've given it a new purpose in life to keep it off the streets.
16. fakey Wayfarer sunglasses- aka, the coolest glasses ever.
16...a? Uhm, apparently I cannot number. hairband, hair grips- I can make it through the morning with my hair down usually, but after that it drives me crazy. When I am all intensely working I have to kep every bit of hair off my face, so I have lots of grips- I only need like 2 at any one time, but obviously I also throw them into the bag when I am done with them.
18. GUM, YO. 1 pebble of Extra "cool breeze" and one stick of Double mint, which I nerdily bought because Erin and I had been laughing about Sam and Dean (of Supernatural fame) being ~*The Doublemint Twins*~ and then I saw it on sale in Essentials and was like "HAHAHA, I HAVE TO GET IT." it is actually pretty horrible and I am glad that is the last piece.


I'm better about not filling my bag with crap than I used to be, mostly because during term-time I switch between my handbag and a backpack every other day because I can't carry a handbag on my bike, so I started to take it down mostly to essentials.

Tell me if you do it, it shall be magnificent.


In other news, I totally love those sheets on my bed in that picture.

For my records, because I forget things. Some things on my to-do list are serious, some of them could only appear on the to-do-list of a seriously unemployed person, some of them are indicative only that you are looking at the to-do list of a Helen. Colours and bolds etc are indicative of importance and time sensitivities and such like. Anyway.



In the upcoming days I want to

• Reapply for my student loan
• Start reading Sandman
• Finish watching Deadwood
• Watch s'more True Blood
• Look into finding/watching rest of Carnivale
• Work some more on the socks I'm knitting
• apply for moar jobs
• talk to aunt re: the job she kind of promised me at her work
• not panic about omg everything
• open account with the Yorkshire building society (online)
• work out more
• start writing everyday

and maybe

• go to fabric shop and purchase sweatshirt material/zip for making of hoodie (they didn't have anything at the little one, might have to wait a while till I go to Bournemouth.)
• devise pattern for skirt using awesome orange fabric I have had forever.
• draw a couple of comic pages.
• do more doodling every day

MY FISH! Let me show you them.



If you click you can feed them, and they all gather round your mouse and are adorable. :D

While in town today I kept getting little writing ideas and, seeing as Graham told me I should try writing first-person, present-tense stuff with "a female narrator, of my own age" I figured I would write a little journal entry about my day but that, instead of my regular journal style I would write it in story-form. (Also, in honour of tbone I'm changing my "writing" tag to "story time with Helen" :P) This is pretty similar to my journal-style, except I use words and word-collections (idk how to describe it really) that i wouldn't use in casual speech.



I know it's summer by the fact that the little carts on the high street that sell scarves and hats to the passers by have switched out their wooly beanies for straw-shaded cowboy hats. The winter gloves are replaced now with shutter shades- aviator glasses with the lenses removed in favour of personal venetian blinds in neon greens and oranges. I've never seen anyone actually wearing them- I doubt anyone does, except for a few brief moments to pose for a new facebook profile picture.

The Starbucks by the cathedral is my favourite. The coffee doesn't taste any better- the milk always tastes a little over-boiled, but the walls are craggy stone and the beams are showing in the ceiling- it's the ambience that pulls me in. Today the servers are all wearing feathered cabaret hats. There aren't many customers, because it's the middle of the day on a Thursday and all the tourists are still at home, thinking about their future trips. The lady running the till is humming and ha-ing over the elastic that holds the hat to her head- she's clearly uncomfortable, but at the same time she' s smiling at me and it's obvious she's waiting for me to ask about their questionable outfits. I amuse myself by pointedly not mentioning it- where I come from all baristas wear funny hats. I have this thing where i'm anti-hilarity. I can't really bring myself to find pre-planned jaunts to "silliness" funny. I always have an irrational hatred towards people who would describe themselves as "wacky" the cabaret hats qualify- I expect they're for charity, but she doesn't mention it so neither do I. I order a hazelnut latte- grande, to go. I append my order with "to take away" and she promptly asks me "to have here or to go?" I blink and tell her it's to go. There is obviously a script I'm not following.

The coffee smells delicious, but I can never drink hot drinks until they're what most people would call tepid, and i have a sentence in my head which needs writing. Outside the starbucks in the cobbled square a busker is playing the guitar and singing Here Comes the Sun- he's really good and I 'm loving hearing him as I scribble down my sentence. I fish out my wallet- wanting to throw him some coins and remember i'm poor- only about 50p in my wallet, my last £2 paid for my bus ticket, my coffee paid for by the emergency money my mum put on my card a few days ago. I'm sad, because I want him to play music in this square again, and it's a quiet day and he's not making much.

On the bus, I half lay-out on my seat, I'm tired and it's hot- the windows are popped open but there's no air movement. I should take off my hoodie, but then I'd have to carry it- I'm getting a headache from my own laziness.

We get stuck in a jam coming out of the bus station- two of the park and ride green-and-silver buses are trying to get out at the same time and neither is managing it. We stop by the bike shop, which is doing a surprisingly brisk trade. The windows are advertising neon-lit brandnames which mean nothing to me but probably elicit an instinctive reaction from cycling afficionados- Marin? Marlin? malin? a minute after reading it I've already forgotten. The bus is empty- two boys get on, going to play football up on the field beside my building, an old lady comes on and at the next stop another steps on who knows her- they discuss the first woman's health, and her recent tests at the hospital, where she was approached and recognised by a woman she stayed in hospital with 50 years ago "she recognised me by my eyes" she laughs, and I make a point to look at them- they are fairly average looking to me, but then I never spent a stay in hospital with her as my companion.

Erin is jealous of my coffee when I get back- it's drinkable now and delicious, the hazelnut adds just enough of a smooth flavour and the coffee is rich. When I'm done drinking I take off the lid and lick the foam off it- I have a terrible love for the foam. We discuss my leaving in the morning- I think we're both a bit too stunned to really realise that I'll be gone before the end of tomorrow, and I think it's going to hit us hard in the morning.

I have packing to do, but I take a nap, I got up at 3:30 this morning and I'm tired enough that it's a necessity- first I text my mum, asking her to bring a box for my pans and plates and kitchen things, and get distracted when I realise I have some videos on my phone from a couple of years ago- they're of my family and I wish I had known they were there sooner as watching them is nice. I remember I'm seeing them all on Sunday, and it makes my chest give a little hitch of sadness when I realise Erin and I won't see each other again for... who knows?

the nap is much-needed but I wake up sleepy, if no longer tired- I still have a lot of packing left to do if I don't want mum and dad to look at me disapprovingly tomorrow.

I don't even really know what I'm supposed to be doing- I have my first exam tomorrow, but it's critical practice and there are no past papers up on the library website. I've been going over some Romanticism, but I'm pretty much floundering- I trust I'm not going to do too bad in the exams, just because... well, I haven't done too bad in my essays, and considering how little work I did preparing for them they may as well have been under exam conditions. I think I still need to revise both Blake and John Clare, just because they were right at the beginning of the year and I don't really remember much. I specify these two because revising Wordsworth goes without saying- bastard is all over the syllabus, and my hating him does nothing to get him off it. I'm also gonna re-read Keats, because that smug mother is just worth reading whatever comes up. I'm gonna do some scan-reading, but I also need to start actually memorising some quotes, at least vaguely. It's all well and good to be like "Ode to a Nightingale has this line about drinking yourself to oblivion" but I need to be all "oh for a glass of vintage!" etc etc.

My sleep-pattern has been all kinds of awful lately, it's driving me up the wall because all I want is to be sleeping at night and awake during the day so I can get stuff done, and it just isn't happening that way. I'm thinking I might have Delayed Sleep Syndrome which is basically a sleep disorder where your body's circadian rhythm doesn't follow the normal routine of "bed at night" and you tend to get tired at the same time every day (around 3am or later) and sleep a semi-regular amount, occasionally skipping sleep for a night/part of a day and then sleeping like 20 hours to make up for it, which I do every few weeks and basically the whole article is just very very familiar- including things like people assuming I'm lazy if I sleep till 4pm, disregarding the fact that I didn't go to sleep till 8am, constantly feeling "jet-lagged" etc. I'm gonna see the Doc about my sleeping when I go back home, I think, because whether I have DSS or I'm just lazy, it's not normal and it's making me a little depressed.

I'm signing the contract for the house tomorrow! It's been a verrrry stress filled week- turns out that living with 8 people makes everything a little more complicated- it's nice, because it means we're all a little less culpable for any mistakes or problems, none of us have to take too much responsibility, but at the same time it makes getting us all together at once a little tricky- next term when we're all in the same house it should be easier, but right now Matt's living in town and the rest of us girls are scattered all over campus, so it's been a battle of wills to get everyone in the same place all at once- setting up our house joint account took forever just because the poor guy had to check all our IDs and type in 8 people's details.

Then, we had a few problems over the contract itself- we're paying £400 a month for our bills as a set rate, but we were then told that if we went over £400 we'd have to pay the excess- fine, but nothing was mentioned about what happened if we went under the £400- they weren't willing to refund anything under £400, yet wanted us to pay for anything over it- it seemed rather unfair to us and obviously not to our benefit, and there was a problem with the insurance (They want us to all get individual insurance, which comes to around £100 a year each when we could, if we all went in together, insure the whole house for around £200 all together.) We've agreed to their terms on that, though, as the house is going to be filled with enough of their stuff that it only seems fair. They've also agreed to refund us at the end of the year any months where we went under the £400, and apparently we should rarely or never go over that amount, so it's good to have that sorted.

We all agreed that the woman we've been dealing with at the letting agents has been very pushy and taken advantage of the fact that none of us have rented before, and Matt (being our one guy and thus our elected protector) has said he refuses to let her play us- when we're all together as a group of 8 we're kind of a force to be reckoned with, so hopefully we'll have no more problems with her once we've signed. (Dad will be happy to know that he seems exactly the kind of guy he described when he spoke about one guy in a house full of girls- he talked happily of us baking him cakes and how he would "take care of all the spiders and light bulbs that need fixing" in return- I'm fine with both lightbulbs and spiders, but it's nice to know that he shouldn't be like Andreas was this year, spending all his time in his room or at his male friends' houses, and instead is taking The House of the Amazons in his stride.)

I can imagine that the letting agent just putting pressure on us because she wants to make sure everything goes smoothly, but the way she's doing it is making us much more likely to want to pull out, rather than help her- It's clear she's concerned only for getting the money, and her prime concern is the landlord, rather than the tenants, which seems to me to be the wrong way round, seeing as it's us that are putting down money and, in my opinion, need the most flattering and kindness- seems like, coming in late to the agreement as I did, I missed the part where they tried to win us all over (the others have described how the agents were incredibly helpful and kind, driving them to the properties themselves etc) and now I've just come in for the hard-push section which, without the softly-softly kindness has been wearing at me a little bit.

Still- I'm really excited! I can't wait to have my name signed and my rent paid, so that I can stop worrying about all this- it's been stressing me out pretty majorly and I've been getting flutters of anxiety which haven't yet, thankfully, come to anything more than a few sleepless nights- I don't want to get back into having regular panic attacks again and, once this is all sorted I'm hoping that I will be able to get rid of all the little jitters, as well.

It'll be so nice to know that I have a house sorted for next year, so I can focus on my revision (and panic about exams, instead!) only about 2 weeks before they start, so I really so need to start buckling down to studying.

I was in bed readin' and then this guy outside started yelling about a hedgehog he'd found outside- he called his friend all "COME AND SEE THIS, COME OUTSIDE AND SEE THIS HEDGEHOG, IT'S REALLY SOFT, IT'S NOT SPIKEY AT ALL- WHAT? DID I WAKE YOU UP? SORRY! SORRY MATE!" and then he was silent for a while, and I came over to the window because I was wildly curious (YES, I DID WANT TO SEE THE HEDGEHOG- YOU WILL SOON SEE I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO DID) he then yelled at a couple strolling home "HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A HEDGEHOG ALIVE? THERE'S A HEDGEHOG HERE, ALIVE!" They were less than excited, and so he and the girl had a brief, but definitely long-enough shouting match arguement, in which the hedgehog was an unwilling factor- "I DON'T FUCKIN' CARE ABOUT A FUCKIN' HEDGEHOG- WE'RE TRYIN' TO HAVE A CONVERSATION." cruel words were exchanged- he thought he recognised her and informed her and, loudly, all of Parkwood, that she was a slut, she called him a fucker and suggested that he needed to be kicked in the balls, "because (he) clearly hasn't used them for a while", the hedgehog's feelings were hurt. The guy seemed to shed a tear. very sad.


The next group of people got the exact same greeting.

"HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A HEDGEHOG ALIVE? THERE'S A HEDGEHOG HERE, ALIVE!"

They knew him, they had a long conversation- they named the hedgehog, firmly declared at all times as a he, "Rebecca"- a small flag was raised for gender diversity, the hedgehog was pleased to be a part of it- although his name was, in fact, Clive, he held a strong belief that all walks of life must be embraced and so said nothing.

His friends tried to coax him away- he was having none of it- he could not, he informed them, simply leave the hegehog- "I can't leave the hedgehog alone!" he exclaimed- the fact that the hedgehog hadn't rolled into a ball, a well-known defensive measure, told of illness- The fact that, surrounded by potential predators, an animal is unlikely to move, all the better to be mistaken for a rock, did not occur to them. I pondered about opening my window- "the hedgehog is spiffing, my darlings- but maybe you should toddle off home and leave him be?" I did no such thing (I did google hedgehogs- the not rolling thing? totally fine.)

After several ponderous minutes of discussion-- eating Rebecca was suggested-- his friends, after much convincing, coaxed Alan- this I know to be his name, for he informed his phone-friend loudly--away home to bed (hopefully) or more alcohol (probably)

Rebecca-actually-Clive toddled off as soon as they were gone- glad for the whole sorry state of affairs to be over.

Oh, and I forgot the part where they told him to give the hedgehog E.